Okay. (typing with more resolve than I'll probably feel tomorrow) I'm going on an agent hunt.
Other than rejection of one's manuscript, the only threat in such an endeavor is to one's wallet, due to the cost of ink, paper, and postage. Well, there's also the chance of paper cuts, but most writers are inured to such dangers.
As for capturing my prey, even a double-barreled shotgun wasn't much help to Elmer Fudd in his search for wascally wabbits, so maybe I'll just use a lure: cheese-flavored paper stacked on an innocuous-looking trap, with a few SASEs tossed on top as a garnish.