Friday, July 10, 2009

The Writer and the Sandpaper

I am not a vain person. I don't care much about the condition of my fingernails, except that they be clean. Sometimes.

However, while continuing last night to prepare for painting inside my house, I pretty much sanded them all away.

60-grit sandpaper, by the way, can also remove fingerprints. This is accomplished by holding a folded piece of sandpaper in one's bare hand while ramming said sandpaper into corners or running it along the curves and grooves of shaped wood molding. Or it can be achieved by the strange burning sensation that accompanies the friction of sandpaper against recalcitrant flaws in the woodwork.

So, as I continue with this repainting project throughout the house, I may soon be able to commit crimes with impunity. If caught, I can oh-so-cleverly dismiss those illegalities as writerly research.

Yeah. And all those dropcloths and lengths of plastic sheeting are remnants of my superhero cape.

4 comments:

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

good to know, keanan. i'll have to keep that in my mind for my suspense books. :)

The Texican said...

Now you know why many painters end up with drinking problems. Pappy

Alexander Field said...

Good tips for my life in crime...are you going to be able to type on your keyboard okay from now on? Painful!

Keanan Brand said...

Jeannie - Anything I can do to help another writer's research. No sacrifice is too small! (laugh)

Pap - Whawazzat? I couldn't (hic) hear you. This here bottle was (hic) in the way.

Alex - Pain shmain! A little blood on the keyboard never hurt nobody! ("Medic! Medic! I need a Band-Aid!")