Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Calmer Now - and Even Amused

If you read the previous post, you will know how angry and confused I was after a phone conversation with my boss yesterday.

I'm calmer now, but only after much ranting and imaginary conversations with him on my drive home from work, and continued sporadic imaginary conversations while at home both last night and this morning. And there were three short phone conversations with Mom, the first one involving prayer for wisdom and calm. (Yep. We grown-ups still need our parents.)

There is something about me that challenges people -- usually those who are in authority over me -- and makes them feel they have to push against me when I've never had a quarrel with them. I don't know what this mysterious force is, but it exists.

One director, who only lasted maybe six months, even sat down in my office and told me, "This Club isn't big enough for both of us."

I laughed. What else could I do? I felt like I'd fallen down the rabbit hole, but instead of joining Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, I was in a Western gone bad.

There have been five directors in the same span of time that I have been the assistant director, and each time, I have never been offered the opportunity to rise above the position for which I was hired. Now, understand, I enjoy the work I already do; however, to not even be offered the chance to refuse the job?

I think that's one of the signs that it's time to find other employment.

If only I could finish my epic (tongue firmly planted in cheek) and make my mark on the publishing world....


Anonymous said...

Okay, here's my comment: 1) you've been writing up a storm while I'm meandering along--just read your last 5 posts!! 2), No, I don't know what causes people to feel threatened. I have had something happen in an interview, where the woman obviously felt threatened. She told me, out of the blue, that I would need to speak Spanish and French to get this job(of a phone salesperson!!). Neither of these was listed as a requirement for the position in the ad in the paper! and then she tells me that "we all go through stages in our lives, and maybe you are at a level where you don't know what you want to do." Fine, but don't waste my time with pointless free advice that isn't advice at all, it's just that you feel I may be better than you at something?! Actually, I have been "kept down" in jobs before due to fear and/or prejudice on my superiors' part: I am younger, but have better computer knowledge, etc. Can you fight it? No. Can you get beyond it? I don't know!


Okay, so I've been on a posting frenzy by comparison. Wait for the wheel; there'll be a time when you've got stuff to say, and I should just keep my mouth shut. (Come to think of it, this might be one of those times...)

As for the threatening thingy, I think that, even at my most uncertain, I know what I want and I know where I stand--at least with myself and with God. There's a confidence we can have in knowing those two things. And while confidence is comforting or lends a sense of security to some people, to others its almost an offense or a challenge.

(raising my Styrofoam cup of lukewarm diet soda) Here's to being offensive!