I admit to having issues. We all do, even the most adjusted, balanced, mellow people among us have buttons someone, somewhere, somehow, can push and get a reaction from us. I am not the most mellow person in the world. I am intense. I can be mellow. I can be reasonable and occasionally even wise. However, there are some times when something rises up in me, and I just want to reach out and smack someone.
Today, the executive director at my job called to 1) ask a favor, then 2) deliver two complaints about me. In both cases, something small was overblown and/or misrepresented. When I attempted to give my version of events, he replied, "I don't want to get involved in he said/she said."
Then he had the audacity to tell me I was yelling and screaming at him, and that "you will not raise your voice to me, especially over the phone!"
(Uhmmm, who's raising their voice, boss?)
Contradiction, it would seem, even when presented in a reasoned and controlled tone of voice, is tantamount to screaming.
Everything was my fault, and I just needed to calm down, be quiet, and work on my communication skills.
I've stayed here because I like working with the kids and getting to do creative projects. However, I've often wondered where I would have ended up if I had acted on something that occurred during my first interview with the exec. About halfway through, I realized that he had no intention of recommending me for the job, that he hadn't liked me from the moment he set eyes on me, and that I could save both of us time if I just stood up, shook his hand, and walked out the door.
But I stayed for the entire interview -- I like to see things through to the end -- and the person who became my main supervisor eventually hired me anyway.
So here I am. A decade into this job, and I still don't know what it is that sets the exec's teeth on edge.
Whatever it is, it's sure to be my fault.